Patient with You

This is the slowest process in the world. Talk about patience. God has been fore shadowing the concept of time throughout the years. Cause it takes time to knock down fears. Watches and clocks. Tick Tock. He told me his concept of time and our concept of time is incredibly different but he wants to make his time our time. Patient but stay kind, in the small cluster frustration panic attacks too. Im seeing flaws and I wanna see you. Harder than I thought. Thats all I see. Should I be looking at it differently? Should I try harder? Wish I was smarter. The whole thing blah. I preyed to be patient with myself. And I get that weird feeling when I prey in his will like o thats the one I was hoping you’d ask for. Be careful what you prey for type of thing. But not really anything. Cause you know you have to be right here in this exact moment to learn that exact lesson. It gets me every time he knows what I’m gonna do before I do it. Like do I really know who I am to the core? I finally feel Love, O God I want more. I forget he doesn’t give me tests I can’t handle. He would never set me up for failure. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp? I think cause it shows myself how broken I am. It breaks my heart every time I don’t understand. Like who set me up for failure? They were all the captains of a little sailor. Some not meaning too because they didn’t understand certain places in different shoes. I’m guilty of this when I get the blues. I still continue to do the same. Out of habit, I still cause the pain. It’s hard to get all these truths when you’ve always believed lies. Literally fear is unraveling what a surprise. Process process respect it ya know. He says just relax it’s all apart of my show. God you know I’m not perfect but I do know my purpose. Less of me more of him. More of him. I feel it. No more doubt. I’m ready for that side of the fence. This one can die out. I’m ready to be found. Yeah there’s a million little lessons. But I’m starting to explore my biggest blessing. It’s freedom that comes a knocking. But my flesh is still rocking. Please take me outta my head, outta of my emotions. I can’t separate the sand from the ocean. My mountains will know your name. And I will bring you glory through the pain. Don’t forget it, when you find the truth. Hold on to even a tiny bit. And never forget who you are with.